In my sophomore year at BYU-I, Jill and I decided that we wanted to
start our family. We still had a couple more years of school, but we had
always wanted to be parents and felt that it was right. We got pregnant
and things were going pretty well. But Jill started getting these pains
in her side… It was her gallbladder. We were concerned with how serious
it was and we were worried if it would negatively impact our unborn
child. We weren’t happy with the medical care we were getting so Jill
was 32 weeks, we switched doctors. At 37 weeks Jill was induced and the
next day after a pretty quick labor, our sweet little Ross came into the
world. Ross was born on November 21st, the Tuesday before Thanksgiving
which was 2 weeks before finals… Bringing him home was rewarding but
also super stressful. Thankfully, my mother-in-law came to stay with us
for about a week. She made us Thanksgiving dinner with turkey, mashed
potatoes, the whole nine yards. It was a new experience trying to
balance school and having a kid, but it was and is well worth it.
After
that semester we went back to my in-laws house in Boise because Jill
had to get her gallbladder removed. I tried to be the best husband and
dad that I could be but… let’s face it dads, that first few months is
hard. Staying with my in-laws (who are some of the most angelic people I
know) was difficult as I felt powerless to help my struggling wife.
Jill was having a hard time with breastfeeding, was recovering from
surgery, and trying to bond with our new baby. I thought to myself, “how
can I fix this?” I learned in that small orange room in the corner of
that house, that as a Dad, there is only so much you can do. Your role
in situations like these is to support and uplift the best you can. I
suggest that instead of worrying about not being able to breastfeed, try
doing the dishes or sweeping the floor. These small acts of service can
show your spouse that you two are a team and that she can rely on you.
When she feels that you become more united and develop a stronger
relationship.
Those initial few months were really difficult for
our family and maybe some of you are struggling with similar issues. I
encourage you to look outside yourself and serve. Now that the first
months are over, coming home to Ross after a hard day of studying is the
sweetest part of my day. I am motivated by their smiles and my
responsibility to provide and care for them as a dad.
I maintain that being a parent is the most rewarding experience we have in life. It is our job to raise the next generation of good people, who through their good examples can help other people become better people.
Serve your spouse, love your kids, be awesome.
